Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

A personality/mental disorder which causes: inability to regulate moods, extreme behavior, and unstable relationships.

1. A doctor must diagnose this condition, as there are many similar conditions.
2. Can be treatable, with medications & ongoing counseling.
3. Although not discussed openly much, it’s quite common. There are over 3 million cases in America each year.
4. Classifies as a ‘chronic’ illness, as it can last many years or an entire lifetime.

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

~Mark Twain
There are 9 basic, serious symptoms/behaviors that are typical in those with Borderline Personality Disorder.
“For myself, it's [borderline personality disorder] like being on an unending rollercoaster. The thrill-ride keeps me alert, on edge, with sometimes scary, sometimes exciting..highs and lows. Meanwhile, also persistently overly sensitive to everything and everyone around me.” 
~Serenity Mask
I used for reference:

1. Fear of abandonment. A person with BPD will have the tendency to cling to and obsess over a loved one; and alternatively, to start fights or push them away. Any small slight can feel as an intentional letdown or calculated ‘backstab’.
2. Unstable Relationships. A person with BPD may fall in love frequently, but will likely grow to hate that same person before too long. The 'new lover’ will seem like the greatest person they’ve ever met & will probably be put ‘on a pedestal’. Naturally, the object of such adoration cannot live up to the expectations and will fall from grace, ultimately becoming the target of extreme disappointment and/or feelings of anger.
3. No sense of Identity. Often, someone with BPD struggles with knowing who they are and what they really want. They may flip-flop back and forth, which makes it impossible to have clear-cut life goals. One day, they could love their job and feel great about their life; the very next they might feel lost and hopeless. A good sense of self-worth will always come with its opposite, (the other side), namely (self-loathing) to oppose and cause inner turmoil.
4. Impulsive, self-destructive behavior. If you suffer from BPD, you may have a pattern of ‘self-medicating’ when in the midst of a downward spiral, choosing, in the spur of the moment, a risky, feel-good action. Gambling, taking illegal drugs, blowing all of your money, overeating, etc.
5. Self-Harm & Suicidal Ideation/Attempts. Thinking, talking about, or attempting suicide. Desperate incidents of cutting or burning oneself to cause harm/pain to oneself.
6. Extreme Emotional Mood Swings. When one has BPD, they're usually known for being happy one minute, and then ‘flying off the handle’ the next, sometimes for a trivial cause. Fortunately, it's usually revolving.. and they can get over it rather quickly.
7. Chronic Feelings of Emptiness. Feeling hollow, like you’re nothing, or completely useless. Even if you'd then try to use something else to fill the void, it's never really effective; and in fact can make things even worse. I've been known to say “I'm dead inside”. Which seems odd, considering that I'm always so emotional and sensitive!
8. Explosive Anger. Intense and/or sudden outbursts, that may leave a BPD sufferer stewing for hours. Ranting and raving, outwardly agitated. Sometimes, only maintaining composure by directing the hate & discontent inward. (I believe that's why I suffer from stomach aches frequently).
9. Feeling Suspicious/Paranoid, Disconnected. People with BPD are constantly gauging others around them... if they sense any problem or a bad mood, they will automatically think it's related to them somehow. “If a person is unhappy, it must be somehow my fault,” I mistakenly thought for a large portion of my life. They may experience brain-fog, fuzzy headedness, or feel like they're in an ‘alternate universe’. This is called Dissociation, and it’s one of the biggest factors affecting those with the disorder. It seems to be a milder version of what someone with dissociative identity disorder (DID) experiences living with multiple personalities.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you😱!
~Rita Mae Brown
A direct quote from the aforementioned website, I believe sums it up perfectly!
“In clinical terms, “personality disorder” means that your pattern of relating to the world is significantly different from the norm. (In other words, you don’t act in ways that most people expect). This causes consistent problems for you in many areas of your life, such as your relationships, career, and your feelings about yourself and others.”
However, with patience, in time one CAN make significant changes, and hopefully heal enough to live a semi-normal life. Whatever that is!

*After taking up to 17 different medications (at a time) for 12 years along with three years of weekly counseling sessions with my fantastic psychologist; I stepped away & ignored my diagnosis. I had to, I was heavily medicated and seriously unhappy. After several years of flat-out denial, I began to deal with my issues. One by one, little by little. These days, I'm comfortable in my own skin, grateful to be me. I love me!
Finally, Thank God❣️

#BabyStepping #BreakTheCycles #ChangeIt!